How to Handle High-Conflict Divorces Through Mediation Under Kansas Divorce Law

Going through a divorce, especially a high-conflict one, is always a trying experience. High-conflict divorces happen when both parties cannot agree on essential matters such as child custody, asset division, and alimony. 

Although litigation is often the initial instinct in such situations, mediation provides a practical and frequently more effective alternative. It may seem counterintuitive for high-conflict divorces. When emotions are running high, it can feel impossible to have a productive discussion.

However, when approached with the right strategy and an experienced family law attorney, mediation can be an invaluable tool in managing high-conflict divorces.

Attorney Joseph A. DeWoskin, P.C., understands the importance of resolving disputes efficiently while maintaining the dignity and financial stability of its clients.  He is thoroughly familiar with all aspects of divorce, including property division, child custody, visitation, child support, and spousal support.

Based in Kansas City, Kansas, his firm represents clients in Jackson, Cass, Clay, and Platte counties in Missouri, as well as Johnson, Leavenworth, and Wyandotte counties in Kansas.

What Is Mediation?

Mediation is a voluntary and confidential process in which a neutral third party, called a mediator, helps the divorcing parties reach an agreement on disputed issues. Unlike court proceedings, mediation focuses on open communication and problem-solving between the parties involved, with the mediator facilitating the discussions. 

The aim is to settle disputes outside the courtroom in a more efficient and less confrontational manner. Mediation allows the divorcing couple to take control of their situation, preserve relationships (particularly when children are involved), and reach a mutually agreeable resolution.

Why Mediation Works in High-Conflict Divorces

The emotional stakes are often very high in a high-conflict divorce, where there is significant disagreement and animosity between the spouses. Mediation provides a safe environment for both parties to express their concerns and negotiate terms without the escalation that often occurs in a courtroom setting. It also empowers individuals to find common ground and avoid causing further damage to an already strained relationship.

Kansas law encourages mediation because it reduces the burden on courts and provides parties with more control over the outcome of their divorce. Rather than having a judge impose a decision, mediation allows both spouses to actively participate in crafting a solution that best fits their needs and priorities. This process fosters collaboration rather than confrontation, even in high-conflict situations. Another key benefit of mediation is that it can lead to more creative and personalized solutions. 

Courts typically follow rigid guidelines when determining matters such as child custody and asset division. However, mediation allows for a more flexible approach where both parties can propose solutions that suit their circumstances, which may not be possible through traditional litigation.

Mediators in High-Conflict Divorces

While Kansas divorce law outlines the general process for mediation, mediation largely depends on the mediator’s ability to facilitate constructive conversations. 

In high-conflict divorces, the mediator must be skilled in managing difficult emotions and providing both parties an equal opportunity to present their views. Mediators are impartial and do not take sides. They help structure the discussions, encourage open communication, and guide the parties toward mutually beneficial solutions. In high-conflict cases, the mediator often works with each party separately (a process called caucusing) to confirm that emotions do not overshadow the discussions. 

This can be especially important in high-conflict situations where the parties may struggle to communicate effectively due to the intensity of their feelings.

Mediators are trained to identify and address underlying issues that may not be immediately apparent but are essential for the resolution of the case. For example, they may help uncover concerns related to finances, parenting, or even the emotional toll of the divorce that need to be addressed in order for both parties to reach an agreement.

The mediator's goal is to help both parties find common ground, but they do not have the authority to impose decisions. Instead, they guide the parties toward creating their own solutions, promoting an environment of respect and cooperation.

The Benefits of Mediation in High-Conflict Divorces

A primary benefit of mediation in high-conflict divorces is the opportunity for both spouses to maintain control over the outcome of their case. In a traditional courtroom battle, a judge makes the final decisions, and both parties must live with the outcome. 

This can lead to resentment, dissatisfaction, and even further conflict. Mediation allows the parties to reach agreements that reflect their unique situation and priorities, which is particularly important when both individuals feel a strong need to be heard.

Mediation provides a more private and confidential alternative to divorce court. Unlike court proceedings, which are public and can expose personal details to outsiders, mediation occurs in a discreet setting. This protects sensitive information and keeps it out of the public eye.

Additionally, mediation can be more cost-effective than traditional litigation. High-conflict divorces often involve lengthy court battles, which can rack up significant legal fees. Mediation generally takes less time and can result in lower costs. 

This is particularly beneficial in high-conflict situations, where the emotional toll of prolonged legal battles can add to the already significant financial burden.

How to Prepare for Mediation in High-Conflict Divorces

Although mediation can be a highly effective tool in high-conflict divorces, it requires careful preparation. Joseph A. DeWoskin, P.C., advises clients on how to approach mediation in a way that maximizes the chances of success. Proper preparation can avoid common pitfalls and make sure the mediation process is productive.

The first step in preparing for mediation is to identify the key issues in the divorce, whether it’s child custody, asset division, or spousal support. By prioritizing these issues and understanding their needs, both spouses can enter the mediation process with a clear sense of what they hope to achieve.

It’s also important to remain open-minded and flexible during mediation. The success of mediation depends on both parties being willing to listen, compromise, and work collaboratively toward a solution. Spouses must keep the lines of communication open and be prepared to negotiate.

Consulting with an experienced divorce law attorney before mediation is also highly recommended. Having legal counsel present can provide valuable information about what is reasonable under Kansas divorce law and help protect your rights. They can also assist in reviewing any agreements made during mediation to confirm they align with legal standards and your best interests.

When Mediation May Not Be Suitable

While mediation is highly effective for many high-conflict divorces, it may not be appropriate in all situations. If there is a history of domestic violence or abuse, mediation may not be a safe or productive option. In these cases, it’s important to prioritize the safety of all involved parties and consider other legal avenues, such as court intervention, for resolving the divorce.

Mediation may also not be suitable if one party is unwilling to engage in the process or if there is an imbalance of power that prevents one party from fully participating. Kansas law allows for a judge to intervene when mediation fails or when it’s deemed inappropriate.

Reach Out for the Next Steps

Joseph A. DeWoskin, P.C., believes that mediation is an effective tool for handling high-conflict divorce law in Kansas. They are proud to serve Kansas City, Kansas, and the surrounding areas of Johnson County, Leavenworth County, and Wyandotte County, as well as Jackson, Cass, Clay, and Platte counties in Missouri. Call today to schedule a consultation for your divorce case.